Welcome to the wedding from hell
by la-perla's mermaid
Summary: Worse than every enemy they have ever faced combined and more terrifying than the conspiracies they had to face, is the bridezilla in their path. Nick and Judy should have ran away when they had the chance
1. Chapter 1

Wedding from hell

Disclaimer: I don't own anything so don't sue

It was just another day in Zootopia, another day filled with adventures and lately, a little bit of insanity. Many species get in heat during the winter, while most mammals have easily managed to act normally and not let their instincts cause them too much trouble there are always a small portion of the population who do let their hormones get the best out of them.

Like now by example, when Judy was subduing a naked hyena three times her size while Nick was talking to dispatch, all in all it was just another day as a cop doing police work

-"Why are you arresting me? What did I do?"- The hyena slurred, he could barely stand up, his breath stank of an alcohol so cheap you could probably use it as car fuel.

-"Well you got butt naked in front of the City hall and urinated over not one but three statues, then did the macarena [classic move by the way, I haven't seen that in years] after throwing up in the nearby fountain."- Nick recounted the accusations smugly while Judy shook her head frustrated

-"And by the smell of booze on your breath and the fact that there's a car crashed on a pole across the street, we might have to add a charge of DUI and reckless endangerment to the list."- Judy added in her cold professional tone

-"Nonsense I am perfectly sober."- He said petulantly and then proceeded to throw up on the sidewalk

With a face of disgust Judy placed the cuffs on him while Nick opened the back door of the cruiser, after shoving the large mammal inside he told her -"Well it could be worse, at least he let it out _before_ getting into the car"-

The drive to the precinct was one of the worse she ever had on her somewhat short police career. It was a cold day with mild snow and they were stuck on a traffic jam with a naked hyena that stunk of hooch in their car and kept talking about how clothing was a scam created by the pigs, since they are the only ones without fur and therefore the only ones that need it.

To make things worse her phone rang, she knew who was calling and thought it was best to ignore the call.

"Is that the bridezilla again?" Nick said smiling, Judy's sister was about to get married and so far she had harassed every single member of her family, all two hundred of them

With a quick chek on the caller ID she confirmed Nick's suspicions and pocketed her phone, she was not in the mood for this

But it kept ringing, over and over again, she thought about just silencing or turning off her phone. But the last time she did it her sister panicked and called her parents who got extremely worried, that of course resulted in them travelling to the city just to check on her. The resulting drama debacle taught her the hard way that a bridezilla sister was bad, but combined with overprotective parents it was a different monster altogether.

And then it rang some more

Losing her patience she just picked on the call and what do you know? Her nagging sister was on the screen

"Look Suzan, this better be important I'm at work right now" She said in the calm tone she learned to use when working as a meter maid, one that signaled that she was being civil only through sheer will but was boiling with annoyance inside.

"Oh it is important, like life changing important!" Her shrill sharp excited squeal sounded like nails on a chalkboard, even Fru Fru would have asked her to tone it down "I finally found you a plus one to come with you to my wedding!"

She threw an apologetic glance at the fox next to her and said "I said it before and I'll say it again. I'll go to your wedding alone, I don't need a plus one"

"Look I can't let you be my bridesmaid without another buck to walk by your side, It will throw off all the symmetry on the scene. Besides you're gonna hit it off with him right away, he's handsome, he's rich and he lives in zootopia!"

Judy made a face, she couldn't recall any buck that fit that description in all of the tri burrow states, had her parents got wind of someone like that they would have introduced him to her already.

"Who is he?" She said suspicious

"Oh he's like a business associate who's a friend of a friend of my future father in law, or maybe he's a second cousin by marriage of a friend of my uncle I can't remember. But who cares?! Look how hot he is!"-

The phone pinged once more and the picture of a handsome athletic hare showed up on screen, he had an exotic fur pattern that was striped in black and white and beautiful clear blue eyes.

"Dang he is hot, for a bunny at least" said the hyena in the back seat, he had been eyeing her screen from behind her shoulder all the time.

After throwing the perp an angry glance she excused herself and cut the phone call without giving her sister an answer on purpose

Looking at her partner beside her she could see that he was angry and hurt. "I can't believe you still haven't told your family about us." He said softly as his pointy ears flattened on his head and his tail drooped.

"Nick all she wants is for the bridesmaids and the brooms entourage to be an even number, she doesn't really cares if I date someone or not. Besides we've been through this, if they know you're with me you'll have to come to the wedding as well, you should be thankful that I'm protecting you from it."

He growled "I get it fluff, all you want is to spare me from the crazy bun fest. Geez I'd rather face a group of tigers doused with night howlers than that bridezilla you call sister"

She sighed "Yeah she's usually really nice but this wedding is freaking everyone out."

"Look I know she's marrying the mayor's son but dont you guys have a wedding like, every other weekend?"

"Well we kinda are a big family Nick, and not just in numbers. We are the oldest family in bunnyburrow and well… also the ones owning the largest plot of land in the whole try burrow area." She told him shyly and embarrassed, she wasn't the type to brag about these things.

"Ohhh I get it now, you are elite bunnies!" Nick said chuckling

"It gets worse" She crossed her arms as her ears drooped "Her father in law is not just the mayor, he's gonna run with Fleesen as his candidate for vice president. This whole wedding is gonna be just an elaborate ad campaign"

"And they wouldn't want a predator on their perfect cutesy wedding?"

Again se fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat "On the contrary, he's not just aiming to get the votes from the countryside, he needs to win over zootopia as well. I'm pretty sure that if you came with me you'll be treated as a token pred. That's the reason they nag me all the time, they want to use me for advertising as well since I got a lot of press in Zootopia" _And not all of it was good_ She thought sadly

"Wow"

"Yeah"

"Do you know what you guys need? A good reality check. Look relationships are hard and most of it is about taking shit for the mammal you love. So if your fox here doesn't have the gutzpah to deal with your crazy family then you're better off with Hunky Mc Bunn over there." The hyena said pointing at the image on her phone and then began to sob "What wouldn't I give to have a plus one for a wedding, if only so we could get shitfaced together and laugh at the newlyweds" He said longingly and then slumped in the back seat quickly falling asleep, his snores were louder than the honking of the traffic heard outside the vehicle.

Nick sighed "Well I can't believe I'm saying this but the drunkard in the back seat has a point, I appreciate that you wanna shield me from this but dealing with this kinds of stuff is what couples are supposed to do."

She smiled sweetly at him and then said "Okay I'll tell Suzie I already have a plus one, but when you regret the decision you made today don't say I didn't warn you"


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: A big thanks to Brutus deagon for serving as a beta reader, and since he might be consulted with certain aspects of the plot he might eventually become a coauthor.

…...

Wedding from hell

chapter 2

The trip from the city to Bunnyburrow was probably the nicest part of the whole journey, Nick and Judy got a seat on the top level and the view of the lush nature as the buildings were left behind really amazed Nick, he had been so used to the artificial skyline of the city that the baroque lines of true nature seemed alien on his eyes.

As soon as they arrived at the train station they were greeted by Stu, he was polite and respectful but you could tell by his droopy ears that he was in a really bad mood, the police duo shrugged and assumed he was just stressed out about the wedding.

-" Sorry guys but you have a very tight schedule already. I'm afraid you won't have much time to relax or in Nick's case, even get to know the town"- The Hopps patriarch mumbled while loading their luggage to the old truck. It was a conscious choice to arrive only one day before the big event, knowing that the least time they spent on the preparations the more they would be spared of all the needless drama.

They barely had time to unpack before they had to rush to the seamstress to do the fitting of their gowns, since they were the only ones outside of the burrow when the dresses were designed and made. Judy was one of the twenty five assigned bridesmaids and Nick was shoved into the equally large groomsmen entourage. As a result both had to wear a gaudy lime green outfit with grape purple accents, she was stuck with a poorly fitted baby doll type of dress and he had to wear a tacky three piece suit.

The couple made a face while looking at the mirror, they would have been better off wearing something from an obscure bin in a thrift shop. Since they were the last ones to do the fitting their suits were the most sloppily made, Nick asked if there was a chance to do more proper fitting but they were informed that their seamstress was unavailable. Apparently she had a breakdown after sewing tons of shimmery sequins on the bride's dress, which took about four days of work, only for Suzie to change her mind at the last minute and asking to get those off.

Groaning Judy gave up and resigned herself to go to the goddamn wedding in that awful dress and just be done with it but Nick knew a social event like this would draw in both regular and social media and he refused for him and his girlfriend to be seen in public with that monstrosity, so he decided to fix the clothes himself.

-"You know how to sew, Nick?"- Judy asked while watching him work, he moved with a perfectly natural ease using the sewing machine and was really thorough in taking the proper measures, adjusting the clothes with carefully placed pins.

-"Yeah my dad taught me, he was a tailor you know?"- He said absent minded

Judy could only give him a compassionate smile and nod. The story of Nicholas Wilde senior was a painful one to bring up, he just disappeared one day. No good bye letters, no thorough police investigation, nothing. He just vanished into thin air, up to this day neither Nick or his mother know if he left his family or was killed. Judy had searched through the file of the missing mammals case and the only lead was that his last public action was to ask for a loan on the Lemming Brothers bank to start his own tailor shop but was then denied, there were rumors that he was willing to ask for funding to Mr Big. So naturally she talked with the shrew about it and he said he did comply, but then Wilde senior disappeared before he could collect the money. Still giving up on the case never crossed the doe's mind.

Later that night at the dinner table Nick thought this whole thing wasn't such a bad idea, sure he's meeting his girlfriend's family in a time where they are overly anxious and in a somewhat jaded mood, but at least he's not the reason why they feel that way. Under a different circumstance him being a fox would have made a difficult issue to deal with but now everyone is too worried about the wedding to care that much, he was sure that by the next time he visited they would have gotten used to the idea of an interspecies couple already.

After a hearty meal, if overly vegan for his taste, the fox went to his sleeping quarters located in the single male area of the huge Hopps family complex, but before he could reach his room he was tackled by a frazzled looking Bonnie.

-"I need your help with something, Mr Wilde"- She whispered

-"Uh sure what is it?"-

-"Stu can get overly emotional during weddings and most of my sons are either having their paws full with the ceremony or just don't have the patience to handle him, I was wondering if you could keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't make a fool of himself"-

Well that was a weird request, and Nick knew there was a lot more into it than what the doe had said, still he had no other choice but to comply.

"Don't worry Mrs Hopps, I'll keep an eye on him" He said in his charming half smile while saluting in a mimic of the Boy Scouts style.

...

The next day was spent in the typical chaos regarding an event of this sort, to the fox's surprise the wedding was alright at first. Every single flower that decorated the church was fresh and matched the color scheme, the courtship and all parties involved were right on schedule, even the priest did a speech so meticulous it almost felt mechanical.

Bogo would have been envious of the discipline Suzie had inspired on the entire courtship and the rest of the staff, one comment and move out of place and the bitch fit that would follow would make the polar bear at the academy look like a fairy princess.

Even their outfits didn't look that bad, a little tweak here and a lot of fabric manipulation there had managed to make them look at least decent enough not to recoil in horror at the many pictures being taken, and boy there were pictures alright. This whole event was a huge media circus, local news channels were all over the place with some small Zootopia based media covering it as well. It was no secret that the father of the groom was using all this as publicity for his upcoming campaign for VP, he was hardly seen without his formula partner and candidate for president, a tall deer buck with a posh yet country attitude that had forgotten how to give a genuine expression on his overly stiff face. To see those two trying so desperately to be perceived as likable and failing so hard was cringeworthy indeed.

And in the middle of this tense scenario Stu had gotten drunk, Nick was split between following the tight schedule, posing for pictures and making sure the buck didn't ruin everything. At least he wasn't the mean drunk type, or even the obnoxious clown type, all he did was cry like a baby at every single opportunity. For the most part the guests had ignored him, having the father of the bride crying was something Judy assured the fox would happen if he were sober anyway. It was in fact expected even by the bride, so at least having the buck bawling his eyes out every five minutes wouldn't hurt the overall image of the wedding too much. Hell a few savvy members of the PR campaign managed to turn that into a cute fluffy moment.

Yet at some point Nick was worried that Stu was taking things too far since he was starting to trip on any surrounding table, so he decided to take a break and drag the bunny outside in the hopes of giving him some fresh air

-"I don't like Kevin, I don't think he's right for Suzie."- The buck said through drunk tears and loud hiccups.

-"You don't think the charming rich buck marrying your daughter is enough?"- Nick said exasperated, if that guy didn't fit his standards what would happen with an ex con fox?

-"No and you know why? Because when Kevin sees her his eyes don't shine, that's why"- He said raising his voice and Nick was grateful nobody was around to listen -"You are a sketchy fella mister Wilde"- he slurred -"But when you see Judy your eyes light up like a night sky in the fourth of july. I can work with someone like you, we can make sure you do the right thing for our kit but if there isn't love then there is no way of fixing a relationship, and I don't see enough of it in Kevin"

Now that was a valid concern, Nick had been so worried about not screwing this up that he had not paid attention at the bride and groom. -"Have you talked to your daughter about it?"-

-"Yeah, but she is head over heels in love and is convinced she lives in a fairy tale, I couldn't get through her, even Bonnie tried to reason with her but it was no use. Then Kevin's family started pushing for an engagement and before I knew it, I'm drinking carrot moonshine while my baby girl is making a huge mistake"-

The buck then hugged Nick and once again begun to cry. The awkward moment was interrupted by the sound of a male voice clearing his throat, Nick saw upwards and met a tall muscular bunny buck roughly the age of Stu with brown salt and pepper fur

-"Stuart for carrots sake get a hold of yourself"- The bunny said and then shouted behind him -"Cotton sweetheart why don't you bring your uncle a big cup of coffee?"-

-"Yes dad"- A slender and cute (yeah more than usual for a bunny) doe responded from the distance

-"Joshua Hopps, I am Stu's brother it's nice to meet you"- The rabbit said reaching a paw towards the fox, who took it gently as he answered

-"Nicholas Wilde sir, and likewise"-

-"Now why don't we give my dumb-dumb of a sibling a little time alone to compose himself? We have a few minutes before the waltz starts, I'm sure a little walk towards the barn would do you good"-

Walking to a secluded far area with a dude he never met and would have no reason to want any time alone with? Nope, no respectable city dweller would do that -"No it's okay sir, I'd rather stay with…"-

Nick stammered but Joshua never lost the grip on his paw and swiftly dragged him towards the open field outside the wedding venue -"I insist"- He said in a tone that left no room for any argument, as the tod went along he debated between looking for an exit or using his police combat skills to defend himself should things go wrong

Once they reached the barn Joshua dropped any pretense of civility and growled at Nick -"Listen here you little mutt, my niece Judy is an oddball but a very decent young lady. Now she was never the type to bring any male home to meet the parents, especially for an occasion like this. That means one thing and one thing only, she is serious about you. And if she is that means you better treat her right, because if I ever find out this was all some pred game you city folks like to play with us country mammals then let me inform you that I own many acres of land where a body would be buried and nobody would go looking. Is. That. Clear?"-

Every word of the last sentence was accentuated by a strong bunny finger poking on Nick's chest.

The fox was about to defend himself when he heard rustling and giggling coming from inside the barn, both males hid in the shadows as a couple came out of the rustic building.

It was a male buck and a female sheep, their clothes were ruffled but they managed to fix them as they rushed outside towards the main complex, it was extremely clear what those two had been doing in there.

-"Am I crazy or is that…"- Nick said baffled.

-"Yeah, that is Kevin Fluffster, having a secret meeting with Angela Fleesen in the middle of his wedding"- Joshua said angrily.

-"Let me guess, is he, too, going to end up buried in your property?"- The fox said with sass.

-"Nah, he is the husband of my niece and she has been screaming to the four winds how much she loves him. She has been going crazy about the wedding while he's been fooling around. A hidden hole in the ground is too good for him"-


	3. Chapter 3

Wedding from hell 3

Author's note: A huge thank you to Brutus Deagon for being my beta reader, he also contributed a lot to the plot of this chapter aside from helping me with my writer's block, that's the reason it took so long for me to post this chapter.

…...

Grey fur with black horizontal stripes in a crisp black suit, Jack Savage strolled smoothly through the main hall while sipping champagne and making casual talk with the other partygoers. The handsome hare blended seamlessly into the party, he had the perfect amount of charm, enough to be a welcome presence but not too much as to call attention to himself.

The corporate spy had been extremely lucky on this one, usually an event like this can be highly monitored and you can only get an invitation after a lot of scrutiny but he had been dragged in because the bride really needed someone to go with her 'spinster sister' as she called her. He didn't mind to be the plus one of a lonely female, especially if that guaranteed him a way in. But when the family found out the doe wasn't that much of a spinster and was in fact dating a fox Jack had to go alone, which was perfect for his plans since he could now work undisturbed

Sadly there was one mammal in the room who did know who he really was.

"Well who do we have here?" Said a white furred vixen, a press ID card was pinned on the lapel of her coat.

Jack looked over the vixen in her black dress and professional coat. Her necklace was a gold chain with an aquamarine stone pendant that was close enough to the color of her eyes to make them pop.

"Well hello Miss Frost, long time no see," the hare said crossing his arms and reflexively sporting a charming smile.

"It's always a pleasure. So are you a relative of the lovebirds or is this one of your spy missions?"

"Would you mind talking a bit louder? I think the mammals in Deerbrook haven't heard you yet." He said snidely with a sideways smile.

"So a mission it is, how's the private market going for you?"

"Way better than my state funded job that's for sure. I think we could do good business again, like that time in Animalia with Senator Crooktooth."

"Right, you find the dirt on your client's rival and I expose it over the media," She shrugged, it had worked wonders on her career before. "Why not?"

"Yup win-win for both of us, my client gets what he paid for and you get the exclusive."

She snorted. "Good job finding something on Fleesen, the guy is as clean as a whistle."

Jack believed she was wrong, he was sure everyone had some dirty laundry stored somewhere but he understood where she was coming from. Fleesen was too new on the political scene and up to recent times, too small on the food chain to even have the chance of getting in major screw ups. Up until a few months ago he was completely unnoticeable, but then he married Angela Lambert, a wealthy socialite from Zootopia. The interspecies marriage was big news, Fleesen was a straight arrow from a long line of conservatives with deep roots in the countryside but marrying a sheep from Zootopia made him look open minded and introduced him to the urban folks. The result was a candidate that appealed and represented the conservative countryside but didn't exactly turn off the liberals too much. Plus while an interspecies marriage was still kinda controversial the fact that it was between two respectable prey made it somehow more palatable. It was a perfect grey area that could draw a lot of crowd, now he is on fast track to become the next president and his opposing party hired Jack to find some dirt on him. Dirt that he would find eventually.

...

Joshua wasted no time in confronting Suzie and told her about her husband's infidelity, in front of about ten relatives including Bonnie and Judy. At first the buck thought of dealing with Kevin right away but he believed she deserved a heads up for when her husband goes missing.

"You can ask the fox over there," Joshua said pointing at Nick, everyone in the room turned sharply to look at him, he cowered a little because of the scrutiny but nodded explaining it was the truth.

"You're all crazy!" Suzie fumed and left while the rest of her family kept talking about the news.

In the distance she could hear her uncle saying something about good parcels where a body could be buried while her sister screeched, "You do know Nick and I are cops right?"

For the most part the wedding carried on but as she walked away Suzie began to remember small little details throughout her entire relationship. She remembered all the times her fiance has spent extra time in the office and how often he was focused on the phone instead of talking to her and how many times he had been caught talking to the sheep, allegedly to smooth out minor issues of the political campaign.

But the doe knew better than to cancel her wedding because of the rambling of her looney uncle, yet if he was telling the truth…. Either way she needed evidence either of his infidelity or his innocence. So she came up with a plan, it wasn't hard for her to find the trio, a rambunctious group of bunnies from one of the younger litters. Sam, Sal, and Sully had watched an old horror movie once and afterward spent days in seclusion practicing the way they now talk so that they creeped out everyone else.

"Hey guys, wanna get some money and extra chocolate?" She asked, suddenly feeling as sly as her city dwelling sister or even her boyfriend fox.

"What do we have to do, Aunt Suzie?" the 'shining' trio said in unison.

After a brief instruction the three smiled and nodded. A kerfuffle of bunnies led by the three rascals swarmed Kevin and demanded a hug. The hare came from a big family so he wasn't all too surprised, if anything this made for a very flattering photo shoot as Skye kept putting her camera to good use.

The bunnies stole his phone and Suzie had no trouble figuring out the password since it was the same he always used for all his devices. Then she opened it. She saw his pictures with Angela, and worse the texts they shared. What was worse was these lines.

"_How I wish I could marry you instead of her, but if we want to reach our goals we have to put up with these guys."_

That's the moment her heart broke, air simply vanished from her lungs and tears welled in her eyes, with her panic attack in full swing she searched for a place to be alone but the whole place was swarmed by relatives and the media. She needed air, air that was clean and fresh instead of the overly perfumed ambience of the main hall, so she climbed to the building's terrace. The sight from there was stunning, a sunset shone over the flatlands painting the countryside with a thousand colors. Finally giving in to her grief she fell on her knees and cried her heart out.

"Why is this happening to me? I did everything right, the flowers were the right tone, everything came at the right timing! This should have been a perfect day but it's ruined!" Her screeches and wailings were ear piercing but she didn't care to make the fool of herself, it's not like anyone was watching.

Well someone was, a shocked Gideon Gray tried in vain to stop the assault on his sensitive ears.

Meanwhile a large eared hare sipped champagne near a group of her relatives who were discussing murder and infidelity. He smiled confidently. His job had never been easier.


End file.
